THE CELIBATE

THE sun was high up at the centre of the sky, right above their heads, and their shadows had recoiled between their legs. Every student in the school knew it was passed midday. This story took place in Lumboka Secondary school in Malolomonyo Division, down in Bungoma. It was in September the year 1989.
As the lunch bell went off, Sussy, the Form Three newcomer, and two the two Forth Former—Betty and Catherine—headed for the murembe tree at the western corner of the school compound, with their packed lunch.

Once they reached the rich, cool shade of the tree, each one of them removed her pullover, spread it out on the green grass—it was September, a rainy month; tall grass and other vegetation grew everywhere; maize plants in the fields on the outskirts of the school compound were brown with maturity---sat down on it, and resumed their conversation which had been cut short at the end of long break.
“How odd!” Betty exclaimed, “that a boy of his status should be so lonely. I think he’s so mean with himself!”
“Ah, he is just elusive, if I may put it precisely,” Catherine answered, “The problem with Willy is that you can never get him to say the usual little nonsense that other boys usually engage in as preliminaries to seduction. I say, he is always serious, no-nonsense-like, means what he says and says what he means, and does what he says and means. So, there you are, girls! How do you deal with such a peculiar boy?”

The trio was gossiping about their newly appointed, enigmatic head boy; he was young, very pious in his Christian faith, and very chaste. He always claimed to be ‘saved’.
Sussy listened even more carefully a cocked ear, a dirty sneer on her brown oval face. What are these primitive buddies of mine talking about ? Sussan thought contemptuously. Snakes are just snakes, whether it is a black mamba or green mamba, or cobra, or python or puff adder !And Men are just men. According to Sussan, no one particular boy or man was an angel to surmount the boisterous passions of the body which were responsible for the fall of Adam, and are still responsible for the fall of kings and other great men on this Old planet Earth. And Willy was no exception!
“I find all of you girls very naïve!” Sussy ridiculed, “The fact is, this saint William of yours has never brushed shoulders with a luscious decoy!”
Betty frowned incredibly at Sussan. Her large innocent eyes widened four inches their normal size, accentuating the incredulous look.
“ Believe me you, I have known him as my classmate for fours! He is just the way you see him—very business like. Talk about spiritual or academic issues and you will thrill him. Talk about trivialities and you will get a sharp reproach…But that is not the problem. His problem is that he is handsome, charming with his broad shoulders and a charming broad smile, and very polite and social, but he is very lonely! You know, personally, I usually believe that people like William should always end up with many intimate friends. But that is not the case with saint Willy!…”
Sussy was still not convinced that there was a boy or man of this saintly calibre on this old planet earth; she recalled the many scandals about Pastor Kuloba, the local pastor of the P. A .G Church in her home area. She also recalled scandalous catholic fathers in many parts of the world and her cynicism increased.
“Have you ever tried him?” Sussy burst impudently, the sneer on her face looking even nastier.
“Tried him?” Catherine queried in total flabbergation and astonishment. There was momentary, but total silence and a rapid exchange of astonished glances between Betty and Catherine.
“Hey, Sussy! Do you know what you are saying? Now, for that matter, I am not a devil to try people!” Catherine protested frivolously. The three girls tittered uneasily.
“Sussy, you are taking this thing too far!” Betty cautioned.
“No,” Sussy persisted stubbornly; for Sussy was an obstinate and wayward girl, who was conceited, and very proud. “Then how did you prove he is not capable of doing something diabolic?” Sussy sneered and snickered.
“Sussy dear, you are just a new comer in Lumboka secondary school. Believe what we tell you about this school, its people, and its mysteries. For instance, this mystery of saint William. He is a born-again Christian guy and if you approach him with any sinister motive, he detects it through his remote control system called Holy Spirit. And don’t you joke, Sussy! This guy can rebuke you!” Betty argued hotly, “Don’t ask me how he does this. I cannot explain how he unravels the motives, but be sure you will never catch him unawares!”
“My question was,” Insisted Sussy adamantly, “Have you ever tried him, Betty?”
“Hey! Sussy, I am not a devil either!” Betty cried out. “But hey, girls, I have an idea that can stop this much ado about nothing. Why can’t we bet, Sussy?”
“Oh! That is a brilliant idea!” burst Sussy, “but you must make it a grand prize, buddies!”
“Wow! I agree with Betty, and I suggest two hundred shillings!” Catherine chimed in.
“That is big money, Cathe,” Betty exclaimed, “but be sure the victory will be more costly than the money!”
But Sussy, quite oblivious of the preposterous and treacherous game her little, conceited mind was playing on her, went on and burst into a victorious song and dance.
“I am a winner of men!
I am a winner of men!
I am a winner of men!
I am a winner of men!”

* * * * * * * * *
Sussy was a very brown beautiful nineteen year-old girl. In those days, brownness was a paramount mark of beauty, and Sussy possessed it in abundance. Her oval face was quite unique in its shape; her eyes were big, round and innocent, and her thin lips giving a cute finishing to her appearance. When she smiled or laughed, her smooth, rosy cheeks dimpled, and her spotless white teeth gleamed admirably. Indeed, as many boys in Lumboka Secondary School used to say, Sussy was the Juliet of Lumboka Secondary School.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Let us call it coincidence. Now, it happened that our dear Sussy was staying with her elder sister Everlyne who was married to a certain man in Lumboka Village but in the very neighbourhood where William hailed from. So later that Friday evening, Sussan sat smiling to herself in her sister’s sitting room, putting final touches to her treacherous schemes and strategies and devices. One thing she was always conscious and very sure of about herself was her abundant, tantalizing beauty and charm that always worked instant magic on every man she met. She even remembered the first time she had strolled across Lumboka Market. Even the shopkeepers had forgotten about their business momentarily to gaze at me, she reveried. That is to mean, I had made business to come to a stand still momentarily at the market centre! Because I am an exceptional, peculiar beauty! Oh my! Yes, I was bouncing like princess Diana of Wales! Yes, there is elegance and grace in my step and figure! I have only been here for five months but I am now the most lusted for and trailed after girl by boys around Lumboka Village. I am convinced beyond the shadow of a doubt that William the Monk will fall for my charm and elegance! If he doesn’t, I will put him into a trance like have always done to the other men. My powerful, hypnotic eyes will do it, won’t you, my powerful, hypnotic eyes? She peered into her deep, mysterious pupils through the mirror in her hand. William will not escape this enchanting allurement, nay, decoy…I will unleash all of it on him…Oh, Monday, I wish you were today, now… I must get the two hundred shillings…
* * * * * * * * * * *
On Monday morning, the following week during the morning parade, the Head boy was making announcements when he noticed one very brown girl, who was quite unlike any other girl he had ever seen in Lumboka Secondary School, making amorous faces at him. No one else noticed what was going on, except William, Sussy, and the Omnipresent One.
What is that supposed to mean? The query rippled through William’s mind and he almost used a wrong word in his speech. God help me…Devil, you are defeated in Jesus’ Name! He rebuked in his spirit.
“Last but not least, I wish to emphasize to all the class prefects that classrooms should be swept before five p.m. I detest this time wasting habit of sweeping classrooms in the morning; it is greatly interfering with the morning preps. I hope this will not be repeated in the course of this week. Otherwise, I wish each one of you a successful week. I now hand over to the Master on Duty.” God help me…He said again inwardly. After the M.O.D’s brief announcements, the students dispersed for classes.

Those who knew William closely called him a monk. In fact, his peers always alleged or bantered that he was totally impotent and that his fanatical claims that he was ‘saved’ were just a cover up, an excuse, and a very good alternative to his impotence. But none of the boys ever succeded to get William to expostulate or defend himself over this controversy. This aspect of his character made him even more peculiar and intriguing.
However, William knew himself better than his critics. There were two facts over which no one would not deceive him. One fact was that he knew that before his conversion four years ago, he had been a very hot fornicator. The second fact was that after his conversion, he had become impotent –dead in the body-- for three months! Then afterwards, he had become normal again, but the degree of his normalcy had diminished to a distant echo. And he prayed so much and very often, such that in the place where once tempestuous passions had raged and blazed, now the Holy Spirit blazed and simmered there slowly, constantly…
* * * * * * * *
It was Tuesday evening, and there was a heavy drizzle. William was calmly seated at his desk in their Form Four Class, reading Enid Blytons Five On Treasure Island when suddenly the girl burst into their classroom and made straight for his desk. She trotted so gracefully towards him that not only him, but all his forty-four classmates paused for a moment to stare at Miss Elegance as she walked across the front of the class.
This is the newcomer in Form Three…He pondered…What is her name?…Something must have happened in Form Three…
“Hi Willy!” Sussy chirped in her soft melodious voice. “It is raining like hell out there!” William did not say anything; her just maintained his steely stare at her.
“Ah, move abit, Willy. I wanna sit here with you just for a bit.” Sussy dared.
“Okay, you are welcome,” Willy said coolly and decently, moving to one end of the desk. Sussy immediately planted herself beside William and started wiping drops of water from her black, curly hair.
“Er—Willy,” she started even more boldly, “what were you doing under the cypress treeon Sunday evening?” She looked William straight in the eye and unleashed her enchanting smile.
This is a head-on collision…William mused silently…How cunning the devil is…God help me.
“It is very strange,” William replied in mild surprise, “Oh, I hardly know your name, and here you come storming me with funny questions about my domestic affairs. Please, I don’t usually discuss my domestic life here in school. By the way, who are you?” Sussy looked slightly set aback, but she recovered quickly and continued shinning on Willy with her brilliant smile.
“Ah, Willy, don’t you know me? I am Sussy, the newcomer in Form Three? The girl from Kagame Secondary School?” Sussy from the Devil… He added in his heart.
“Oh, Sussy. Everlyne’s young sister? I have heard about you, and I have been seeing you among other girls on the way home.”
“Yah!”
“Now Sussy, is there something you would like me to do for you?”
“Actually, Willy, I very much wanted to come on Sunday evening, but you were too busy under the cypress tree.”
William almost smiled. He closed and put down the novel. She is very interesting. I have never encountered her type before. He mused in his mind.
“Sussy, you can’t be serious. Is it possible for you to spot someone down there in our homestead, while you are up there in your sister’s compound?”
Sussy smiled even more charmingly at him and he was almost mesmerized by her bewitching charm. It is already working! Bless me… Thought as she noticed his fixed gaze on her face.
“Yes, it is very much possible.”
“Okay, I happen to have a garden under that tree,” I don’t know why I am talking to her … “I usually spend most of my free time there tending my vegetables, roses and other flowers.” I must stop there… I must not talk to her… “And sometimes if you don’t find me there, I’ll always be feeding my tilapia fish at my pond down in the meadow.”
“Wow! Your private life is very intriguing, brother Willy. In fact let me confess that I have never met such and industrious and intriguing young man.” Damn me… I am falling genuinely in love with him. I am not supposed to …it has never happened before. But he is so handsome…look at his very white teeth, his full lips, and dimples on his cheeks, and oh my, his eyes are deep and very powerful…His voice is sonorous and deep and rich and musical…his English is fluent… “By the way, Willy, I need your assistance. You see, I am not very good in poetry, and we have been given an assignment to write a poem about life. I hear you are a poet. Can you assist me?”
“Yes, Sussy, I can teach you simple aspects of poetry such as figurative language, rhyme and rhyme scheme, mood and tone. Then we can try out one or two poems with you. afterwards you can do your assignment.” I don’t know why I am accepting to assist her… “But the time for us to this is the problem. You can give me your book today, let me write the hints for you, then you can collect the book tomorrow morning. Is that okay?”
At this juncture, Sussy did something quite unexpected; she got hold of William’s school bag and asked him to accompany her out on her way home.
“Look Willy, the rain is over now. Let us go home now! I’ll give you the book on our way home.”
“I’ll catch up with you on the way, Sussy,” William dodged the trap tactfully, “You know I have to make sure all the classrooms are locked and ensure everything is in the right place before I leave.”
“Oh, it was great talking to you. I am grateful you have offered to assist me. You will find me getting along the way, or if you don’t catch up with me on the way, don’t bother yourself so mush. I will bring it to your place.” And without waiting for William’s answer, she strode pompously out of the classroom, William’s bag properly strapped on her shoulder. Eyebrows rose. Gee! She exclaimed when she stepped into the cold moist air outside.
* * * * * * * *
It was getting dark when Sussy arrived in William’s garden. The moon was just rising as a mighty golden orange in the East. The clouds had now subsided after the heavy drizzle and the sky was now almost cloudless and dark blue.
“What a beautiful garden you have down here Willy” She exclaimed, startling him. She bounced into the garden.
“Thank you,” he replied coolly and continued to prune the lush vegetables of many varieties.
“These roses are splendid and their aroma is just romantic, especially with the huge golden moon rising in the East and the humid night air! Oh, and look at these cauliflowers! I love everything here!”
“Thank you, Sussy. By the way, where would you prefer to sit, out here or in the cottage?”
William asked courteously.
“Oh, it is lovely out here! The moon is so romantic, the roses aromatic and the garden secluded and tranquil!” Sussy continued to burst with praises for William’s garden, sniffing at every flower and admiring the lush vegetables. Soon, she was holding a whirl of red roses in her slim hand. William, on the other hand took it all very calmly and cordially. But his mind was racing. She looks as fig she is simmering in the golden moonlight. He thought. Sussy moved closer until she was exactly opposite him.
Actually, she was smashing in her light, yellow full dress, which had a wide V-curve at the shoulders that exposed a generous part of her tender back. Her black curly hair was neatly and elaborately combed backwards. And how she turned elegantly around, smiling gaily and rolling her hypnotic eyes at him. She is one of the most fantastic decoys the devil has ever launched at me…
“You can sit on the little chair under the tree. I will join you soon. We will be very brief. I haven’t milked the cow, you know.”
But no sooner had they started discussing the poetry assignment than there came a loud bawling from the direction of a smoky kitchen that made Sussy almost jump out of her skin.
“Sorry, Sussy,” William apologized, “that is my mother. She is calling me to milk the cow. You can hear it mooing. It seems we are not going to discuss your assignment tonight because all odds are against it. But I promise to help you during the morning preps tomorrow.”
“I have no objection, Willy. I understand.”
They rose and stood facing each other, ready to bid one another goodnight. Sussy extended her hand to Willy. As William took it, she pressed it, she pressed and scratched his palm with one of her slim fingers. Satan, you are defeated in Jesus’ name. Willy rebuked. I can’t do it …I can’t!….
“Yes, Sussy, what is it?”
There is no other chance. Sussy resolved in her heart. I’m going to take him by storm, if he does not fall for me.
“Willy, I love you.” She said in a hypnotic voice. “And you can’t pretend that you don’t know what is going on, and that you don’t know that I love you and that you also love me.” Sussy coaxed and then did something that has never been done anywhere else under the sun. Suddenly, William found himself in Sussy’s arms, his chest tightly pressed against her raw jutting breasts and causing instant heat in his body. Sensing that he was already in the fangs of the Old Serpent, he decided to use his secret stamina. He relaxed, smiled and gazed at Sussy directly in the eye.
“Sussy,” He said coolly.
“Yes?”
“Can you hold or sleep with a corpse?” Willy sounded guttural and mysterious now.
“What are you talking about, Willy? Of course I can’t!” She sounded very startled now. Willy grinned inwardly.
“Sussy, you are holding a corpse.” He said even more mysteriously, slowly, almost drawling, and his eyes glinting strangely. Sussy let go of him so suddenly as if she had been holding a hot wire. She started recoiling from him, horror and incredibleness written all over her tender face. She had never been sunned! She moved a few steps away from him, and stared at him, transfixed.
“Sussy, it is written in the Holy Bible that I’m dead in the flesh but a live in spirit and soul. Sussy, I am a walking corpse!”

The breeze was no longer fresh, but as chilly as the fear that was perforating her delicate body. He is truly a walking corpse. She thought as she turned and ran for her dear life.
* * * * * * * * * * * *********************************

It was Wednesday morning when at around 6:45 a.m when Sussy walked into their Form Three Classroom. A few minutes later, her two buddies, Catherine and Betty, who were agog to hear the results of Sussy’s bizarre assignment, joined her.
“Good morning Sussy, girl!” Catherine greeted cheerily.
“Good morning.” Sussy grunted, avoiding looking directly at them.
“Now, now!” Chirped Betty, “let us know immediately what happened. Did you fix the young monk?”
“I almost did it.” Sussy replied dubiously, looking up for the first time.
“What do you mean Sussy?” Catherine asked avidly.
“That chap, as you had warned me earlier, proved to be even stranger than what you told me. Oh, he is a walking corpse! A vege! I swear he is a ghost!” Sussy snapped irritably. Betty and Catherine started laughing heartily.
“Oh, dear me!” Betty cried, “What did he do you?”
“You see I almost succeeded. But suddenly I did not know what went wrong. In fact I managed to hold him till he started heating up, but all of a sudden, he told me weird words.” Sussy shuddered at William’s ghostly words. When her colleagues noticed horrible expression on her face, they stopped laughing. Now they listened keenly to her arduous experience.
I was holding him so tight and close when he asked me whether I could hold or sleep with a corpse! Imagine, Betty! Oh, I don’t want to talk about it. Let it suffice for me to say that I can’t be able to describe how I felt. But it was so strange, and beyond anything I have ever experienced. He said he was a walking corpse and quoted a verse from the Bible that says so! But I almost fixed him! So, girls, let me have half of the bet, Cathe!”
“So what did you do?” Betty grilled, her eyes glinting with laughter.
“So what did you do! Of course I fled form that ghost! I tell you he is not a normal human being. He is a vege! So guys, you will let me have half of the bet, won’t you?”
“You did wonderfully, Sussy. No one has ever come that close to the monk. You are entitled to your full bet!” Catherine declared mirthfully and the long suppressed laughter commenced.