IT WAS A GREAT PRIVILEGE AND UNIQUE EXPERIENCE TO BE WITH YOU MONDAY 30TH AUGUST THROUGH TUESDAY 1st SEPTEMBER 2010. THE TIME WAS TOO SHORT AND I COULD NOT ANSWER ALL YOUR QUESTIONS. WE CATCH UP HERE NOW!
Q: If you meet with your cousin and you do not know her/him and you marry each other and one of them takes him/her to the parent and you recognize the parent and you have already had sex. What can you do?
A: If you are a Christian, marrying a blood relative is biblically wrong. It is called consanguinity and it is an abomination in the eyes of God because it leads to one committing another more horrible sin called incest. When blood relatives involve in sex it is called incest. Read Deuteronomy 26:22; Leviticus 18:6. Just a common sense approach: Suppose you two actually go ahead with your marriage and get children, what would your parents call your children and what would your children call your parents? And suppose blood relatives were allowed to have sex, and one of them happened to be HIV+, don't you think whole families would be extinct? Trust God; He is wise enough to have put these rules in place!
You will need to repent of incest and ask God to deliver you from this sin. and then you break this relationship right now, my dear! Don't you love to go to heaven! If that is the case, there is nothing we cannot give up on this earth for heaven!
Love you!
Q: I have a friend who is suffering from masturbation. Apart from prayers, what can you advice her to do? Rem: She is God-fearing. She says that the thoughts of sexual feelings cannot depart from her, whatever she tries to do somethings, the sexual feelings arise. She had even decided to commit suicide. How can you advice the girl? Pliz it's urgent.
A: Masturbation is done the act of manipulating one's own sex organs in orde to achieve an organism or sexual satisfaction. In order for one to achieve this, one has to fantasize or visualize some who is sexually attractive and imagine he/she is having sex with this person. There are three types of sex: sex of the mind, sex of the eyes and sex of the body. Mathew 5: states that if you look at a woman lustifully, you will have committed adultery with her in your heart. Masturbation, which is commonly known as 'solo sex' is categorized under sex of the mind. You have to imagine that you are practically having sex with the person in your mind before getting the arousal and finally the orgasm.
Masturbation is selfish, as sex was created to be shared and enjoyed between two partners in marriage who love each other. Since masturbation makes you feel guilty and has gotten you addicted to it, it is not a normal and healthy practice. God created you to be happy and free to worship only Him. Anything that makes us its slaves and dampens our happiness and joy, is not in God's plan for us.
Action Plan: Acknowledge that masturbation is evil, confess and repent of it. You then ask God for healing and deliverence from it. You will have to start out one step at a time, no matter how many times you are going to relapse, keep working at it until you are completely out of it. Avoid being alone most of the time and stay in the company of friends who love, appreciate and uplift you and your self-esteem. Avoid reading or watching pornographic material; also avoid sexually stimulating talks or conversations. Above all, worship God with all your heart, mind and spirit and surrender them to Him; find something fulfilling to do;something that will give you a lot of satisfaction and fulfillment. I had the same problem, but God delivered me from it when I honestly acknowledged that I had a problem and started working on overcoming it. To keep myself from relaplsing, I started keeping fish and doing a lot of gardening after school. I would spent a lot of my free time feeding fish or gardening in my flower and vegetable garden such that I ended up satisfactorily tired. I also found some friends who genuinely loved and appreciated me a lot; once I felt that I was very much loved by God and my friends, especially a nice girl called Susan. She admired me for who I was and through her I realised that I had a lot of potential in Literature and Grammar, and apart from teaching her, I started teaching all my peers!
Avoid anything or anyone who would suggest that you are a nobody or send you into depression.
God loves you, my dear; you are wonderfully and fearfully created; believe you me! Do and believe only in the people and things that are going to increase your self-worth and esteem.
Q: Beside biblical beliefs how can masturbation affect someone, yet it is a safe way to prevent the spread of HIV/AIDS and teenage pregnancy?
A: There are no scientifically known or proven effects of masturbation. However, as a Christian, masturbation leads you into the sex of the eyes and the mind, which is a sin, since you have to imagine sex with someone; it is sex through imagination. There are also long term social-emotional effects such as sexual dissatisfaction with your spouse if she/he is not as fanciful or fulfilling as your sex idol or fancy; this could eventually lead to problematic marriage.
Q: Is it bad to listen to love songs?
A: No. It is not. But for why, what, when and where do you listen to it is what matters most. For instance some love songs are very erotic. If you listen to them, they arouse sexual feelings, which in turn, if you are single, may provoke you into pre-mature relationships and hence pre-marital sex. Therefore, use wisdom to determine why you want to listen to the music, what the music says--what is the message, when or under what context are you listening to the music, and where are you listening to the music from, and even with whom are you sharing or enjoying the music with. I one day found out that not all the music we listened to was good; it was very comical when I found out that a certain song to which my peers were frantically dancing to was the cry and lamentation of the musician whose life was broken and had been abandoned by a spouse!
More of your questions and answers are still underway; please be patient...
